Don’t Rain on my Party!

Posted: June 16, 2013 in Uncategorized

1- When I see people emit a yawn the size of the Grand Canyon at peak time; I could easily visualize a Dinosaur walk through the cavernous road and walk back again. I mean come on, I am out to party after a hard week and do I have to come across a sight such as this. Where is the energy? Least one could do is to cover up, before you rain on my party parade. My advice stay home!

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2- Nowadays, youngsters are so excited to share that they were at this party and that. What was their party experience like? I’ll tell you, some move their fingers at break neck speed…err mind you…this is only restricted to the key pads of their phones. Some stand around straight out of the movie ”Night of the Living Dead” and what makes it worse is they take up my dancing space. I will give some of the rest a little more credit for having fun, when they move their fore arm in a bid to look alive by flailing their limbs from up to down and back again…. I call them (Disco Statuettes). If there was such a thing as a disco police, I’d show them the door. So much for Oh I went clubbing! When I was growing up I remember we used to dance in the literal sense. At least till my feet hurt and my back sore.

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3- Places that are actually small to medium Lounge bars/ restaurants that try to do an actual night-club. Is there any sense in it, I ask. Big clubs host performers and make a night out of things…and more often than not are successful in their undertaking. Where-as the smaller bars/ restaurants see that and want to join the band wagon to do what the bigger spaces do and seriously, at the end of the day make a hash out of things. What comes along with that is; bad sound, super boring vibe, strange people standing around clueless of what they should do. In short these places end up, making a pathetic attempt at hosting an artist who deserves much more than they get. After all they fly thousands of miles to play for you, give them some respect my brothers/ sisters. Here’s a message to all promoters- Choose your event venue wisely. (Coming to think of it, there are only that many venues which do justice to Djs not only from international waters, but have a heart for our local talent who do a fantastic job week after week to entertain you with the best music from around the world).

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4- Knock, knock peeps…do not look like specimens from the cave ages by sending requests to Djs and or stare at him/ her with murderous eyes to play a certain sound or track. It is disrespectful and more than anything shows your intelligence as a clubber when you show no sense or party etiquette to enjoy what the show case of the evening is. As the saying goes, a Dj is not a jukebox. You gotta know your artist and then come prepared for what’s in store and make sure you enjoy it. One doesn’t make a pretty picture by making sad faces that’ll depress even the dead Camel. I mean Boo hoo!! Get over it. Here, venues should take note and do more to advertise the music policy of the night in question and not cut such a sorry figure in turn.

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5- The biggest point for me that is increasingly getting annoying are with new substance users- You end up looking a screaming wannabe. I don’t want to know what you have consumed and how much off it. To tom tom it, doesn’t make you cool or with it. And surely not when you grind and appear to be chewing your own face off, I have no death wish to stare at a Golly wog. Note to yourself- Find a quiet corner to face eat!!

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6-  On a serious note….Whether you’re with your significant other, or you have developed a special connection with the randomer you met on the dance floor just 2 brief hours ago, as happy as I am for you, I don’t want to watch your mating ritual. Take it to the sides, to a private space, to the smoking area, back home, I don’t care. It is frankly inducing much queasiness and surely you need to get a life when you don’t understand that it is more than anything, embarrassing for yourself.

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7- Chicks in high heels who wobble and end up stamping toes (here I must mention I have nothing against footwear like that) but you do aim at me much like a missile. If you can’t stand on them or are prone to tottering; don’t wear them!

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8- And just because I am dancing alone, doesn’t mean that I am available or want to join in a circle with you. So to creeps of a certain mind jam; it’s not ”ok” for me to dance with you. And when I say no, I mean it.

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Oh boy! I could go on and on. But I got to go make shapes on a dance floor, but leave you with a mix set which is curating my head in current times in the download section.

Cheerioo munkeys!!

TETRAMETH- PLANTING SEEDS

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Comments
  1. jay says:

    Nice !! 🙂

  2. ash says:

    hahahahahahaha

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